Contact Ralph Boring™
Congratulations. You’ve made it to the only page that matters — the one where you attempt to contact someone who may or may not exist.
If you’re here to:
Propose a collaboration,
Throw unreasonable amounts of money at Ralph,
Invite him to a sauna he’ll never attend,
Or simply ask why he retired before he was real…
…then you’re in the right place.
Ralph doesn’t personally read messages. He’s far too busy perfecting the art of sitting. But his AI assistants, sauna interns, and occasionally a confused human will make sure your request reaches him — eventually.
Please be clear, concise, and slightly entertaining. If you bore Ralph, you’ll fit right in.
Serious collaborations, influencer partnerships, and media inquiries only. Everything else will be forwarded directly to the imaginary department.
